Assalam alaykum (peace be with you)! I hope you enjoy coming along with me on this ride of balancing life with a teen, toddler, and a baby on the way! Islam grounds us, homeschooling bonds us, and living green humbles us. I don't have all the answers, so make sure to impart some of your own wisdom in the comment section, too! 
I prefer the idea of year-round homeschooling, but when Care Bear’s dad and I agreed on visitation hours, it seemed easier to keep a traditional school schedule, so that’s what we do. Alhamdulilah, now that we are in our summer schedule, I’m noticing some major perks with Care Bear having a somewhat traditional summer break.
Wrapping up some coursesNow, Care Bear doesn’t get to completely veg out all summer. Right now she’s wrapping up on a couple courses, and learning a lesson along the way that if she doesn’t get to her work in a course, it doesn’t just go away. She would have been done with these courses a few weeks ago if missed assignments were made up right away, but live and learn.
Care Bear’s work takes center stage during the school year because the consequences of her not doing it are far higher than if Little Miss doesn’t get some learning time in. Now that we don’t have a schedule for Care Bear, Little Miss can go to the park each morning, have an activity or two planned at home (that won’t get pushed off for lack of time), and I’ve signed her up for early childhood classes. While I do think we can address the learning aspects of the early childhood classes at home, the purpose is more so to give us something to look forward to, and to have activities I don’t have to shop for and plan myself.
During the school year, it feels like I shouldn’t work on anything too in depth because I can be interrupted at any point. We’ve tried to make a schedule where I’m available within certain times so that way our day is more predictable, but neither of us kept to it, partially because each day can be do different with the little ones. Now that I’m not waiting to be interrupted at any given moment, I’ve been able to work on an online class I’m taking, widdling down my to-do list for the homeschool co-ops, and make plans for the upcoming school year. I feel like a free woman! Ha!
We have a bit of a routine, but it could definitely be improved. For one, I need to institute a snack time. Each day at lunch, Little Miss is crabby and whiney because it’s been too long between breakfast and lunch. I’ve learned the hard way that I need to feed her before she’s hungry! Nap time is also a surprise to her almost every day and while it’s at the same time, it’s almost always out of the blue, at least from her perspective. She’s usually in the middle of playing when nap time comes up, and that’s always a bummer!
Ramadan during these long days takes mental preparation, but in order to stay healthy, it takes some planning also. On the first day of Ramadan, Fajr will be at 3:44a and Maghrib at 9:00p, in sha Allah. That long of a fasting day is no joke! I won’t be fasting this year due to nursing Tulip, so my plan is to make Ramadan as easy as possible for my family. Fasting is challenging, but if I can make it a little easier on everyone, in sha Allah they will reap more benefit from added worship on their part instead of focusing on filling their tummies.
This summer looks promising, and it looks like we’re getting into a routine that will be beneficial for the coming school year so we can get out of Care Bear’s hair while she works on her high school work. Exciting days ahead!
I heard of the value of learning sign language when Care Bear was small, but I never took advantage of it when she was little. Little Miss was a bit slower to start talking so we had a more urgent need for it, plus a friend recommended the Signing Time DVDs, making learning sign language very easy. Since then we have gotten other books from the library and gotten some thing at home. Teaching Little Miss some signs has made our life incredibly easier!
Little Miss is two and a half at this point and while our signing has gone down considerably (though it’ll increase again when Tulip gets a little older), she still reverts to it when she’s upset and can’t get a legible word out. Signing definitely helps with words that are a bit harder for little ones to get out, and distinguishing between words that sound similar. For instance, Little Miss says “hungry” and “ice cream” quite similar, so using a sign helps to avoid a tantrum, or giving away ice cream when it isn’t asked for. It’s true when you hear that learning sign language can reduce tantrums!
Some of our favorite tools for learning sign language are:
Of course the library is a great spot to find new books, both for the little ones and for the adults. I am so thankful for a nice library system in our area since I’ve heard it’s not that way all over the country.
A good garage sale is quite exciting in my book. You can get things for dirt cheap, get the kids out and exploring, meet new people, and help reduce the amount of things someone throws away!
Yesterday I spent $50 and got:
Now some stuff would typically be handed down, like the clothes and the baby monitor, to a family or friend. The craft and cooking items though are things we tend to throw away if we don’t need or want them anymore. Instead of those items taking up space in the junk yard (I realize it’ll end up there eventually), they are instead put to good use until they can’t be used any longer. Since we are commanded to be care takers of the earth, we should use the ways available to us to reduce waste!
Behold thy Lord said to the angels: “I will create a vicegerent on earth.”… [Qur'an 2:30]
Another up side in going to a garage sale is reducing the cost for many items you would buy anyway, like clothes and the baby monitor. Since I don’t work outside the home to bring a reliable paycheck, I take on the responsibility to make sure every dollar goes as far as it can. There are many things I just don’t feel are worth their cost brand new, like cookie cutters. 10 cents a piece seems more reasonable, hehe!
As the motto goes, we should reduce, reuse, recycle… and many times we can reuse things from someone else!
Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on work-readiness, so I’m quite surprised there isn’t more emphasis on teens getting a volunteer job. In fact, when I was looking for volunteer opportunities for Care Bear, I had a hard time finding anything when searching on Google. I’ve since come across fliers at the library (gotta love the library!) for volunteer jobs and training camps, and Care Bear now has her first volunteer job at the library helping kids participate in the summer reading program!
So, why should a teen get a volunteer job?
Learn the value of work, without the paycheckMoney can muddle the true value of things, including the value of a hard day’s work. Teens can learn what it feels like to know they brought benefit somewhere, without the paycheck coloring their excitement. We should be proud of doing a job well done for its sake alone. On a side note, I think this can also go for chores at home. I believe that some chores should go unpaid as an expectation within the home that everyone cooperates to keep the home running smoothly. We pay Care Bear for chores that are much harder, and out of the ordinary, but otherwise it’s expected that she will complete chores on a regular basis.
How many people go into college not sure of what they want to do? Volunteering can help teens hone their interests and talents, and also help them learn what areas they don’t like. Some jobs might seem like a good fit until they actually perform the work, and they find it is not a good fit. For instance, Care Bear wanted to be a game designer for a while, but knowing her, I didn’t think she’d actually like the day to day work. Volunteering or job shadowing can bring some things to light.
Summer break tends to get long without activities to keep kids busy. Camps and events are a great way to spend summer, but instilling some responsible time can prove beneficial. As our kids get older, we all worry about them falling into trouble (or jumping right in!). Many times boredom can lead to experimenting, and not always things that are good.
Too often we look at those who have more than us, wishing we had something better. We are told in a hadith:
Sahih Muslim : Book 42 “Kitab Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqa’iq”, Number 7068
Abu Huraira (Radi Allah Anhu) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said:
“When one of you looks at one who stands at a higher level than you in regard to wealth and physical structure he should also see one who stands at a lower level than you in regard to these things (in which he stands) at a hi-her level (as compared to him).”
We shouldn’t be looking down on those who have less than us, but rather appreciating our comforts and situation. If you are able to read this online, then there are definitely people in more dire situations, and you should appreciate the gifts Allah has given to you.
So often, younger siblings look up to their older siblings as role models. Just like we should be teaching by example as adults, a teen child can teach by example also. In sha Allah it is a positive example! Volunteering is a real job, whether there’s a paycheck or not. When a young child sees their older sibling taking part in such activities, it can encourage the child to live up to their teen sibling.
I get this question quite a bit. What are the benefits and draw backs of a virtual school?
Fist, just so we’re all on the same page, a virtual school is a school in which you have full teacher support, a complete curriculum and lesson plan, and it is typically funded by state tax dollars that would normally go to your neighborhood school. Since laws vary state-by-state, there are not virtual schools in all states, and some states may have virtual schools in some areas but not others. There are private virtual school options also, where you pay for the books, teacher support, etc. also.
Now, each person’s situation is different, and like I said, each state has different laws, but here’s some of my feedback and what I’ve heard from many families.
In the end, we did a virtual school for two years before moving on to typical homeschooling. When I was pregnant with Tulip, I asked Care Bear if she wanted to sign up for a virtual school for the semester I was due so we didn’t have to worry about my availability around the due date and after she would be born. She decided against it, but I’m grateful we have it as a back up if we ever need it.
